[raw, vulnerable, unedited]
On the morning of October 31, 2017, I woke to realize that the reason my wildest dreams were not coming true was because I was afraid for them to.
I was afraid to live the life I’ve always dreamed for myself. Afraid to let go of all my reasons why I can’t shine bright. Afraid to let go of all the stories I’ve told myself and others about those who didn’t feel I was worthy. Afraid to truly trust my worthiness and the self-love that I’ve spent the last five years cultivating for myself. Afraid to trust my voice. Afraid to trust my wisdom. Afraid to trust the Universe. Afraid to let go.
And, alas, afraid to truly fly.
Up until the morning of October 31, I hadn’t yet conceptualized this truth. I was, in fact, moving my dreams forward. Putting one foot in front of the other. Walking the path I dreamed for myself. Scheduling the classes, the webinars, the book events, envisioning my future, etc. But on this morning, I realized that I was also secretly wishing no one would attend my events, no one would buy my book, no one would sign-up for my classes. I was afraid that if people joined, then I would have to shine. . . . And what if I just couldn’t? What if I just disappointed folks — like I had disappointed people my whole life?
Ugh. (the damn, hidden ways in which we sabotage ourselves, others and our dreams)
As I made this connection in my meditation, I then began to write about it. And what came out in my writing was plentiful and the direction I was given was clear and simple: Start opening yourself up to the reality that you’re amazing and full of so much wisdom, love and light. Start letting people see you — and start sharing your love and your light — lighting the way for others. It is time. Fly, baby girl, fly.
You see, so many of us have dreams and so often we fail to reach our full potential. And we fail not because we are endeavoring to, but rather because we continue to hold onto all the reasons why we should never be eligible to live in bliss and have our wildest dreams come true. We fail because we don’t recognize the little voice inside that’s just afraid.
And, we fail because we are holding on so tight to what was, that we have no space for what can be to come through.
So, being true to who I am, as soon as I was done writing my thoughts about this awakening, I committed to getting out of my own way by going LIVE on Facebook every morning, starting the very next day and doing it for 30 days without exception. I also committed to going LIVE without any idea about what I would talk about — no pre-scripting, no pre-planning, no pre-focus.
Just show up and watch yourself fly is what I heard. You know this stuff. You have lived it. This is you.
Here are the first few unedited flights — flying solo. Afraid but not truly alone.
Day 3: What is Tolerance and What Isn’t?
Day 5: A New Manifesting Technique
Day 6: Manifesting, Religion v Spirituality, Connection to Self
Day 8: A love-filled kind of “feminism”
Day 9: What becomes of the tender-hearted and how do we gracefully embrace our dramatic selves.
There’s meaning in everything and everyone. Search for it. 🙂
I love you,
P.S. You can follow the journey here